Patients

Dear Breast Cancer, I’m Celebrating the Wins

On August 24, 2022, at 40 years old I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was living blissfully unaware and taking “normal” for granted.

Cancer, you took what I thought defined my beauty: my breasts, my nipples, my hair and eyebrows, the brightness in my eyes. You put my body through the wringer with early menopause, sleepless nights filled with tears and anxiety, pains, diarrhea, 12 extra pounds, bloating, and depression.

Dear Cancer, You Weren’t Invited

Dear Cancer,

You came into my life abruptly and invaded my body. The moment I heard your name you terrorized my soul until it was dust in the wind. You are soul-crushing. Every cancer patient would agree that we wish we would have never met you. But here we are. You make the strongest souls weak.

Dear Cancer, I Hear You

Dear Cancer,

Thank you.

Thank you for reminding me of what matters in life. I used to wonder why you chose me; why at 33 years old you found me. Now, I get it.

2022 was the hardest year of my life. I was feeling burnt out at work and was dreaming about striking out on my own.

Cancer Is About to Be KO’d

Hello Cancer,

I see you tried to knock me out, but sorry, I’ve got too much to live for! My kids and my wife support me so much that you don’t stand a chance inside me. I’m a huge Rocky fan, which motivates me to fight you harder, and I tell myself each and every day to keep punching.

Dear Cancer, Why am I Still Here?

Dear Cancer,

You thought you were going to take me out, but I am still here. Twelve years ago, when the doctors finally found you, I will admit you did have me there for a second (insert nervous laugh). The doctors were perplexed—they were not sure what they were looking for, and it took a painful six months to even get diagnosed. The doctor said, “You have Multiple Myeloma at 29 years old.”

How It Feels to Be an AYA

Being an AYA is a unique experience—especially when you have a rare cancer like me. AYA cancer is rare, and then I have a rare cancer on top of that. How do I hate thee cancer? Let me count the ways.

Wait, I can’t quote/butcher Shakespeare like that. I don’t want my high school English teacher to come hunt me down (Mr. S was a big guy!), so let me use something not cribbed from the most quoted author in the English language.

Treat Us Gently

I wish people knew that once cancer has attacked your body and the treatment ravages your immune system, there is no going back to before, nor do you never think about the cancer again—if it goes into remission.

Every year when flu seasons are at their highest, it’s more significant because now the flu isn’t just time off from other people and life’s routine—the flu could now seriously deplete your body for several more days and weeks. Preventative health is a giant measure in seasons of communal illness. Especially now that flu seasons have doubled up with pandemic precautions since 2020.

Finding Friends Who Understand

When I was first diagnosed, I didn’t want cancer friends. At the time I was still processing my diagnosis and trying to wrap my head around the fact that in a few weeks, I would be having awake brain surgery, chemo, and radiation. My brain tumor was an incidental find from a car accident, meaning I didn’t feel sick at all.

Cancer Mandates NOW

I shot out of college like a rocket, a Summa Cum Laude feminist hellbent on shattering the glass ceiling. A la Sheryl Sandberg, I “Leaned In” so hard I mistakenly buried my altruism until cancer forced my eyes wide open. I had set my sight on becoming a tax partner at a prestigious accounting firm and somehow using those skills to improve the community

Dual Diagnosis: Cancer Patient and Survivor

I consider a challenge to be a surprise; it sounds more fun. What I was concerned about at the beginning of my cancer journey are things I don’t even think about now. For example, managing the side effects of medication; I have that down to a science. I am a chronic cancer patient, and the unseen challenges/ surprises of survivorship might be slightly different than you think.