We Beat Cancer

by Karen CostaSurvivorJanuary 2, 2020View more posts from Karen Costa

Dear Cancer,

I beat you. You tried kicking me down multiple times, but I beat you… my husband beat you, my kids beat you, my family beat you, my friends beat you.

You see, when I was too weak to hold my head up, my family and friends surrounded me and protected me from you. They gave me strength to live while you were trying to make other plans for me. You put a label on my forehead… and I HATE labels. You made me into a person I didn’t like… a person who was angry at the world. I didn’t know how to trust, I didn’t know how to fight, I felt weak… I was weak.

You took away the time I was supposed to be a mom to my beautiful children. Time that I should have been spending with family. Time that I should have been present, but instead you occupied every second of my life. You stole precious time from me that I will never get back. You played mind games. You made me feel as though I was alone, but really, I was surrounded by people who held my hand during my fight with you, and people who were fighting for me.

You hated to see me keep knocking down the walls you were quickly trying to build in front of me to stop me from living my life. You hated to see me get back up on my own two feet after pushing me down over and over again, just like the bully you are. We may have beaten you, but you still come around with your dark cloud hovering over my head. I feel you breathing down my neck during my checkups, and sometimes you even pop out of nowhere while I’m driving.

You make me feel anxious, scared, nervous. You make me cry and wonder “what if”. You remind me that you can still take away everything I have with the three familiar words “You have cancer”. But you also remind me how strong I can be when I want to be. You remind me to slow down and be thankful, to take deep breaths, to smile, and to remember how precious life really is. Even though your dark cloud will forever hover over me, my anger towards you is slowly going away, and I want to say thank you. Thank you for not taking me away from my family.

Thank you for teaching me about the simplest things in life. Lastly, thank you for teaching me to slow down and breathe.

Thank you.
Karen

Karen and her family

 

 


All of the posts written for Elephants and Tea are contributed by patients, survivors, caregivers and loved ones dealing with cancer.  If you have a story or experience you would like to share with the cancer community we would love to hear from you!  Please submit your idea at https://www.elephantsandtea.com/contact/submissions/.

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